Night training and what to do about it

In the summer, I did a night lesson with my PPL instructor but was unable to continue the night training with him because his new job as a regional airline pilot made it too difficult. So, I decided to head out to my flying club (not my original flying school) to do my night rating there since a) it's relatively inexpensive and b) it would ensure I flew the hours I need to stay current there. I did a beautiful night familiarization flight over the city with my new instructor on October 14 and have since done two lessons of night circuit training.

Our first night of circuits went very well. The plan was for me to do solo circuits on my next flight. After three weeks of cancellations due to weather, we flew again on Nov 11. The goal was still for me to solo after a couple of dual warm-up circuits. Well, as it happens, my dad had a stroke a couple of days before and was still unstable. I was very worried about him, although driving to the airport that night, I wasn't aware of the level of stress I was feeling. But once we were in the air, I knew that I wasn't at my best that night. After the first circuit, we decided to see if I could settle in but the second one didn't feel right either and I decided to pack it in. My instructor was completely understanding but I felt awful.

Since then, I haven't had a night lesson. I've been busy helping my dad out. But behind the circumstances that have derailed my night training is a weird, lingering feeling that I don't want to do it. I'm trying to analyze why. Part of it is that I'm scared but I am always scared of new flying experiences and with that I just need to suck it up and get on with it. But I think I'm also torn about where I want to do the training. My flying club is cheaper and the instructor is great but the planes are older and more basic and I feel like I can't see as well in them at night (the instruments and map). And my friends are out at Cooking Lake and I sort of wish I were there, with my new instructor there and their lovely newer planes with Garmin 1000 avionics, which are so much easier to see at night.

Lots of people learn to fly on old planes and lots of people survive their night ratings. But flying with sophisticated avionics is good, too. I don't know why I can't just decide and then get on with it.

POST SCRIPT - December 18 - I have come to a decision! I realized that what I had to do was sort out what I need from each of the two places where I fly. I joined the flying club at Villeneuve for inexpensive airplane rental and for experience with different types of planes - older 172s and also their Mooney and Citabria. So I am going to limit my activity there to these original reasons. I am connected to Cooking Lake because that's where I did my PPL training and have started my commercial training and where I have a community of fellow pilots, many of whom I do or could fly with (day or night). So, it's clearer now where I should finish my night rating. Cooking Lake is my home and my training base; I will do my night training there.