Annoyance and gratitude

Usually I fly Cessna 172s at my flight school/flying club but, just to mix things up, I bought some time on a Cessna 150 at another local airport and I spent a few hours in it over the winter. My flying club is closed because of the coronavirus so I haven't flown at all for 4 weeks but today I was able to get up in the 150 again. It's a self-serve operation and I can come and go on my own so it works for these times.

It was a beautiful sunny day (even if it's STILL winter) but it was pretty windy and the flight was quite turbulent. You feel it even more in the 150 because it's so light. I was eager to get back in the air again after so long and it made me a bit mad that it had to be so windy on the day of my booking. I debated whether I'd even go but figured I shouldn't let the opportunity pass.

It was icy on the taxiways and the wind made the plane skate around. Annoying. There was wind shear on the climbout. Annoying. It was annoyingly bumpy at altitude, as I made my way toward the practice area. By the time I got there, I didn't feel like working on any exercises because it just wasn't pleasant. I was feeling very disappointed about the whole flight. So I circled around and headed back toward the airport. I had to wrestle the plane down to the runway (but the landing was a beauty lol). When I was refueling, the wind caught the last drops of fuel from the hose and blew it into my face. By the time I got out of the plane, I was shaken and irritated. It wasn't as windy or bumpy as a lot of flights I've done but this just wasn't what I needed today. But as I tucked the cute little plane back in the hangar, filled out the aircraft journey log, and then looked at the pictures I had taken (a couple of the door handle because of the bumps), I knew how incredibly fortunate I was to have done such an amazing and wondrous thing, how lucky I was to have that plane to fly, how good it was to be in the air again to see the beauty and practice my skills.

The annoyance didn't fade away; it was a miserable flight! But I was able to reflect on the privilege and gratitude that was also part of the day. I believe these seemingly opposite perspectives can co-exist. We can be grateful for experiences and seize what they offer while also being disappointed that we cannot have what we had hoped for. This is a metaphor for these times. I will cry and stomp my feet and be annoyed about what has been taken from me AND I will remember to be grateful for what this time will show me and teach me and for the ways that it will change my plans.

Flying always teaches me about life.

Right seat dreams

I decided that it might be a good idea to get a flight instructor rating so I could teaching flying as a way to enter the world of commercial flying. My first job ended up being skydiving flying (see earlier post) but I have been working toward being an instructor since June 2019. I picked away at it over the summer but have focused much more earnestly on it since last October.

It's been weird. Flying from the right seat takes getting used to. I felt very disoriented at first, feeling like we were going to crash on landing when actually everything was fine. Not knowing which hand was doing what with the controls. It took about 10 hours to feel comfortable with it.

I also find it very awkward to be role playing all the time as my instructor and I take turns being the student and the instructor as well as being the student and instructor for real. I feel very self-conscious pretending to teach my highly experienced instructor with 10 times the flight time that I have as if he's taking his first flying lesson ever. I wonder if I'm good enough to teach someone how to fly an airplane.

But all those worries aside, I have loved the opportunity to become more proficient. I have learned so much that I can't believe I didn't know and have become even more comfortable handling the plane. My instructor and I have spent some lessons just playing with the plane, setting up very slow flight against a strong headwind, doing 60 degree steep turns, and spinning the plane over and over again. I've come to see flight instructing not just as a good first job but as a role that would be a great fit for me.

I expected to finish my instructor rating this month. I have six hours of training time left and was planning to do my written exam today, with my flight test to follow by mid-April. I had a job lined up and people who were waiting for me to finish so I could be their instructor. Alas, we are now in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. Aviation has been profoundly impacted. Many pilots are out of work. Training is on hold for almost everyone, including me. It's hard to say what things will be like on the other side of this. I do hope very much that instructing will still be waiting for me and that my friends and I can continue to live our aviation dreams.