Annoyance and gratitude

Usually I fly Cessna 172s at my flight school/flying club but, just to mix things up, I bought some time on a Cessna 150 at another local airport and I spent a few hours in it over the winter. My flying club is closed because of the coronavirus so I haven't flown at all for 4 weeks but today I was able to get up in the 150 again. It's a self-serve operation and I can come and go on my own so it works for these times.

It was a beautiful sunny day (even if it's STILL winter) but it was pretty windy and the flight was quite turbulent. You feel it even more in the 150 because it's so light. I was eager to get back in the air again after so long and it made me a bit mad that it had to be so windy on the day of my booking. I debated whether I'd even go but figured I shouldn't let the opportunity pass.

It was icy on the taxiways and the wind made the plane skate around. Annoying. There was wind shear on the climbout. Annoying. It was annoyingly bumpy at altitude, as I made my way toward the practice area. By the time I got there, I didn't feel like working on any exercises because it just wasn't pleasant. I was feeling very disappointed about the whole flight. So I circled around and headed back toward the airport. I had to wrestle the plane down to the runway (but the landing was a beauty lol). When I was refueling, the wind caught the last drops of fuel from the hose and blew it into my face. By the time I got out of the plane, I was shaken and irritated. It wasn't as windy or bumpy as a lot of flights I've done but this just wasn't what I needed today. But as I tucked the cute little plane back in the hangar, filled out the aircraft journey log, and then looked at the pictures I had taken (a couple of the door handle because of the bumps), I knew how incredibly fortunate I was to have done such an amazing and wondrous thing, how lucky I was to have that plane to fly, how good it was to be in the air again to see the beauty and practice my skills.

The annoyance didn't fade away; it was a miserable flight! But I was able to reflect on the privilege and gratitude that was also part of the day. I believe these seemingly opposite perspectives can co-exist. We can be grateful for experiences and seize what they offer while also being disappointed that we cannot have what we had hoped for. This is a metaphor for these times. I will cry and stomp my feet and be annoyed about what has been taken from me AND I will remember to be grateful for what this time will show me and teach me and for the ways that it will change my plans.

Flying always teaches me about life.