Still becoming a pilot

Since getting my license, I've done about 10 flights, half of them as pilot-in-command (PIC), so I have kept my hand in it for sure. But confidence doesn't magically come with the license and I seem to be developing some anxiety again; I have a lot of nerves before I fly.

I noticed this acutely when I planned to fly my dad to Barrhead from Villeneuve, a 30 NM flight, on August 23. As is my custom, I obsessed about the weather, mainly the winds, the day before, and in the morning, I became quite concerned that the crosswind would be too much for me to handle upon landing in Barrhead. Dad and I drove out to the airport but I was so stressed on the way, thinking of all of ways that this planned flight was overwhelming me. Besides the wind, this was going to be my first flight as PIC in one of the Namao planes, which were still somewhat unfamiliar to me. To top it off, my reservation had been transferred to a different plane than the one I had booked, one that I had never flown (this was done because my plane was too close to its hours for its next maintenance). It was just too much. I didn't think I could do it. Once at the airport, I confirmed that the winds were fairly strong, about 12 knots, which isn't that bad but it's too much for me if it's a crosswind. Dad was unconcerned at first but when he realized how much uncertainty I was faced with, he suggested that we fly but we just do circuits at Villeneuve, where we could have an into-the-wind runway. I was greatly relieved by that suggestion. The club manager gave me a briefing on the equipment differences in the airplane I was assigned. Feeling like it was all more manageable, we did go and do some circuits. It all went very well in the end. I was able to fly that plane and handle that wind.

So, I should know from that experience that I don't need to worry and stress as much as I do. But it seems that as time goes on, I am increasingly afraid to fly. I don't trust myself. It's very easy for me to be hard on myself and judge myself. Sometimes I wonder if I just suck as a pilot. But, I did really well on my flight test. My Namao instructor was complimentary, too. My dad thinks I'm OK. So I must be OK! Interestingly, my Namao instructor said he really enjoyed flying with me when I was a brand new pilot because he has a particular interest in helping people make the leap from student pilot to licensed pilot. I've since thought back on that; obviously this transition is a thing. Also, it's interesting that once you start to admit your worries to others, they are free to admit theirs, and then you both know that you aren't just awful at it when everyone else is great. I admitted my insecurities to a couple of fellow pilots just this week. One of them, a guy in my commerical ground school class has been a pilot for a few months and he started telling me stories of silly things he's done. It was so reassuring and validating. Another is a friend from my private pilot ground school class, who told me that he still feels especially pleased when he does a good landing. So rather than beat myself up, I am trying to analyze and understand this situation so I can do something constructive to remedy it.

First of all, I complicated things for myself when I joined Namao. The planes are different and the airspace is more complex there and it's still new.

Second, I am not comfortable with crosswind landings and that has a huge influence on how comfortable I feel taking off in the first place.

Third, I am a new pilot. I just haven't seen a lot or had to deal with that much yet so not knowing what each flight will bring is a bit stressful.

What can I do about this? Well, I have to keep flying. I can't run away from it because it's a challenge right now. Thinking back to the fear I felt before I did my first solo flight away from the airport, I know that I have to do it anyway and that I have to do exactly that which I fear in order to improve.

I need to do some crosswind landing practice with an instructor. If I can get the hang of that, I won't be as attached to the ground and I will be able to handle a windy landing if I find myself at another airport where conditions are different.

Although Namao is cheaper, which is partly why I went there, money isn't everything and I can still fly at Cooking Lake where I am more familiar. I have to fly once a month at Namao to stay current but I can always do a few extra flights at my home airport so I can get used to being a pilot without adding another layer of stress.

I can fly with other pilots! Both of my ground school classmates that I mentioned are interested in flying with me so we can learn from each other and offer each other some security.

I just have to keep at it. Underneath it all, I love flying and I want to get better at this! I now have some ideas to make the transition easier. One step at a time.

Commercial ground school

My flight school is running commercial ground school classes this fall and I decided to sign up! The first class was on Monday. There are four of us. Tonight was the second class. On Wednesdays, we join with the much larger private pilot ground school class, since half of what we do is review. The people are very friendly. One of my commercial classmates owns a Cessna 340 - a big, corporate-sized twin engine - so we went over to his hangar after class to see it. He's going to give us rides - often! Another of my classmates is a new pilot as well, and we are going to fly together sometime. I think this is going to be a very positive experience.

I am 55 years old and most people get into aviation as a career when they are much younger. However, there is a terrible shortage of commercial pilots right now and that makes this a good time for me to consider a flying career of some sort, even as a retirement job in years to come. Who knows? Maybe I can fly a float plane someday or teach others to fly. At the very least, these classes will teach me more and make me a better pilot. It will most likely take me a couple of years to get a commercial license but that's fine with me. I'm flying anyway!

Night

My awesome instructor moved on to a new job about two weeks before I did my flight test. I spent the last couple weeks flying with the chief flight instructor anyway for my flight test prep and I was just grateful that my instructor had been able to see me through my lessons. For a month he flew with a company up north and then he got scooped up by a regional airline and moved to the coast. Even though I was finished my lessons, I was sad to see him go. I was very happy, then, to have a chance to fly with him again at the end of July. It was partly just an excuse to fly together and partly a chance for me to get familiar with the one plane at my flight school that was different and I had never flown. We decided to make it my first night lesson to make it even more worth it.

Wow! It is fabulous to fly at night! It's so calm and peaceful. On this night, we took off just at sunset so we could watch the transition to night from the air. We didn't do anything complicated but it gave me a chance to experience the different perspective and feeling of flying in the dark. Perhaps the conditions made it so but we were both feeling a bit philosophical and we talked about how amazing flying is and what it teaches you about life. 

It was a pleasure and a treat to have another chance to fly with my instructor and it was truly a surreal experience to be flying at night.

We have tried twice since then to schedule another night lesson but it has been too complicated for him to manage now that he has another job. This evening, after the second attempt to book something, we realized that this is probably not going to work out anymore. He is moving onward and upward and so am I, both of us into new adventures. My night lessons will continue with another instructor. 

Smoke gets in your eyes

Every flight is a learning experience and this one was quite unique! Today, my dad and I flew to Camrose, just to land and come back. It's just 20 minutes in the air one way. We had planned to go to Vegreville but when I checked the NOTAMs (notices), I found that the Vegreville airport was closed for the day. So, I pulled out my map and quickly checked the headings for Camrose instead. Once we took off, it turned out to be very, very smoky, due to the extensive forest fires in BC. If I had not had a GPS and had had to rely on my map for navigation, I probably would have turned back. Visibility was about 3 miles. I suppose I could have done it because I could have made sure I held my heading and gone from lake to lake until I was there but I felt much better setting the GPS for Camrose and following the line. Despite the smoke, I was actually able to spot the airport at Camrose fairly easily since coming in to there from Cooking Lake, you're pretty much looking straight down the runway. I find it awkward to join the circuit at Camrose because of the arrival path so I ended up doing a pretty crummy circuit at Camrose but still a beautiful landing. Heading home, I set the GPS again but could see Cooking Lake well enough in advance because it's a pretty big lake. Coming back, I did a beautiful circuit but a bouncy landing. Oh well. You can't win them all and everything is learning. This short flight taught me a lot!

Joseph Lake in the smoke, midway between Camrose and Cooking Lake

Pilot-in-command

So far, my flights as pilot-in-command (since getting my license) have been with my dad on board. Although he doesn't get involved, it gives me a sense of security to have him there. But I definitely have to get used to being the only pilot on board! Tonight I had a chance to do that. I took my friend up for a local flight, just to bomb around the Cooking Lake area. It was a lovely evening and we had fun. He was a bit nervous, more about flying than about flying with me, but it meant a lot to me that he was willing to take the chance on flying with a new pilot. I was able to relax and enjoy the flight, which is still hard to do since I still have to concentrate a lot of what I'm doing. We were up for just under an hour. He loved it and so did I!

A new club

I absolutely loved my flight school (Cooking Lake Aviation) and I wouldn't change a single thing about the experience I had there. In addition to flight training, they also rent their airplanes and so I intend to carry on out there as I build my hours as a pilot. They have very nice, fairly new Cessna 172s with beautiful Garmin 1000 digital avionics, and they do all the work of fueling and moving the planes to get them ready for you. However, renting an airplane is very expensive so I have been thinking about ways to reduce my costs.

Last month, I went out to pay a visit to the Namao Flying Club out at Villeneuve airport on the northwest side of the city. It's a little farther away for me but their rental rates are the lowest of anywhere around here so I wanted to check it out to see if it would be an option for me. In addition to saving me some money, flying out of that club/airport offers me experience in controlled airspace (Villeneuve is a controlled airport) and a chance to fly older planes with analog instruments and carbureted engines, which is more like real life when buying one's own airplane, in case I ever decide to do that.

Namao has four Cessna 172s. As well, thinking ahead, they also have a Mooney M20D, which is a faster single engine with retractable gear and a constant speed propeller, two things that would be new for me and would be the next step up for me once I gain some more experience. Way down the road, they also have a twin engine Piper I could learn to fly if I do a multi-engine rating. I was impressed by my visit there so I signed up for membership in the club.

All the planes were inside the hangar when I visited!

Since then, I've done 3 flights with an instructor there because an initial checkout on type is required to be able to fly their planes. The checkout was like a mini flight test so I was glad that was still fairly fresh in my mind. The instructor I flew with was awesome and gave me some great tips and helped me feel comfortable in these planes, which are a bit different than what I'm used to.

For the first flight, we did upper air exercises like stalls and steep turns.

The second time I flew with him, I had to demonstrate an emergency landing. He surprised me by pulling the power back to idle, which mimics an engine failure and makes the plane descend fairly quickly. The closest field for me to choose was a canola field right below me. I maneuvered the plane down to it. We didn't actually land but for a transcendent and beautiful moment, just before I gave it power and went back up, we were flying quietly and slowly just above all that canola and my vision was filled with yellow. It was amazing!

Flying over beautiful canola fields north of Villeneuve Airport

My third flight with him was yesterday; we went to the nearby Parkland airport to do circuits. He told me that I fly well and my landings are safe so I am now free to fly their 172s to my heart's content.

Beautiful day over Parkland county, south of Villeneuve

A little trip

About 30 nautical miles to the south/southwest of Cooking Lake is a town called Wetaskiwin, which is the home of the Reynolds Museum, a world-renowned transportation, aviation, and agricultural machinery museum. It happens to be immediately adjacent to the airport so it's handy to fly in and walk over. So, today, I flew my dad and my son down there to pay a visit.

We were only at the museum for an hour but we managed to have a quick look at almost every exhibit. It's very well done; I was very impressed! I would highly recommend it.

It turned out to be a stellar day so the flight was smooth and beautiful. As a new pilot, this was another chance for me to practice cross-country skills and an arrival at an unfamiliar airport. The flight went well, except for a mistake in my heading calculation, which I corrected when I realized that my track wasn't quite matching the line I had drawn on the map! I was able to see Wetaskiwin from a fair distance out and had no trouble locating the airport. The flight home was more relaxed because I could see Cooking Lake almost as soon as I took off so I just flew there. This was a fun day. It's pretty neat to just hop in a plane and fly off somewhere!